Glogster Multimedia Posters Online Educational Contentmoremoremoremore. Apple, the Apple logo, and i. Pad are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U. S. and other countries. App Store is a service mark of Apple Inc. OPTIMUS PRIME, BUMBLEBEE, WINDBLADE, MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE, and TRANSFORMERS are trademarks of Hasbro and are used with permission. Hasbro, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Issuu is a digital publishing platform that makes it simple to publish magazines, catalogs, newspapers, books, and more online. Easily share your publications and get. Transformers Regular Font' title='Transformers Regular Font' />Transformers The Last Knight The Spoiler FAQDid you see Michael Bays fifth movie in the disturbingly profitable Transformers franchise this weekend Did you have a question about it, besides Why is this movie about giant robots and explosions so boring Our patented Spoiler FAQ has all the answers you need and also probably several you didnt. Here we are again. Hello, my old friend. I wish I could say it was good to see you. Torrent La Maison Du Bonheur Torrent. We might as well get started. What is Transformers The Last Knight about Its about everything. Transformers Regular Font' title='Transformers Regular Font' />Everything that happened to pop in Michael Bays head over the course of god knows however long it took to churn out this thing. In a way, its completely unique among the Bayformers films in that it has more story than the previous four films combined. Michael Bay made a Transformers movie with a story that actually makes sense Oh, god no. Theres a ton of story, as our review pointed out, but maybe a quarter of it drunkenly follows what could charitably called the plot. And virtually nothing whatsoever connects to the previous films, unless you consider constantly contradicting them to be a connection. Why cant Michael Bay keep track of the canon of his own four filmsTo download free futuristic fonts, you can take a look at our free fonts collection, which offers more than 20,000 fonts in different categories. I have a theory. You know how babies brains havent developed, so whenever their parents wander directly out of their eyesight, they start crying because they assume their parents, having disappeared from view, must be gone forever YeahIts called object permanence, and Michael Bay doesnt have it either. Once he is done with a Transformers movie, he completely forgets everything thats happened in it, and he starts the next one with his brain as smooth as a babys bottom. Its the reason why the Transformers are always hunting for a new dumb object that is the most important thing in the universe that no one has ever mentioned before, why Megatron sometimes dies but is suddenly fine in the next movie, why after the Autobots save the Earth in very public ways all Transformers are always being hunted when the next film starts, and why humans keep making dumb, dumb, dumb partnerships with the Decepticons even though the Decepticons keeps trying to kill humanity every. Single. Time. All of which happens in The Last Knight, of course. I guess we might as well dig into the actual story, right Yeah, because I only have a certain amount of time I can think about The Last Knight before I involuntarily lose consciousness. We begin in 4. 84 AD in England, during the Dark Ages, with King Arthur and Merlin and the Knights of the Round Table fighting an impressively multicultural Saxon horde of decorative skull enthusiasts by catapulting giant, VW Bug sized flaming, spiked balls into them. Uh, theyre spiked and theyre flamingWell, sometimes you also want to set a guy on fire after you crush and impale him. Anyway, despite the fact Arthur and his crew are murdering several hundred Saxons per minute, theyre outnumbered, so a drunk, bumbling Merlin rides to the nearby crashed Transformers spaceship and asks for help from the robot that lives there. Mind you, this is a giant, fairly visible alien spaceship that only Merlin seems to know exists, and that a robot lives inside. OkayThis robot does not want to help Merlin or humanity, but changes his mind. He helps Merlin in two ways the first is that he gives Merlin a magic staff and the second is that he joins with 1. Knight bots to form a giant three headed dragon which murders many, many Saxons, including by just landing on them and rolling around for a bit. Doesnt seem very knightly. The interesting thing here is the staff given to Merlin, which has immense power. He use it to cast some cool spells or something Nope, because it only has one immense power and thats the power to revive Cyberton. It doesand I cant stress this enoughabsolutely nothing else. It benefits nether Merlin nor humanity in any way. They dont need it, no humans ever need it. And yet the Knights not only give it to Merlin, they key it to his DNA so no one other than his descendants can use it despite the fact no human can ever use it for anything. Also Merlin gets buried with the staff so literally not even his descendants can use it, either. The hell The one thing the staff can apparently do it transfer the power of Earth to Cybertron, so that Cybertron can be resurrected. The sole being on the remnant of the planet is Quintessawho, for Transformers fans, is nothing at all like a Quintesson. She says she created all the Transformers and, not unexpectedly, wants to revive her planet after it was destroyed by the AutobotDecepticon war. Seems valid. It actually is, although shes portrayed as evilishevilish enough that at some point in the past, her 1. Knight bots steal her staff, which again, is the only thing that can resurrect their dead planet, and hide it on Earth. Shouldnt they want to save Cybertron Why would they steal it I guess because they love Earth and humanity so much they dont want them destroyedEven though at that point they hadnt been to Earth, so why would they care Hey, youre the one whos supposed to have the answers. Fair point. By the way, this is the second item that can destroy the Earth that a group of Transformers have taken directly to Earth and abandoned instead of leaving it to be protected by giant robots, i. Oh my god. The Sun Harvester in Revenge of the Fallen. And theres that object permanence problem againBack to the Dark Ages The Knight bots are so impressed with one group of humans noble goal to kill another group of humans that they join with Arthur and swear to help and protect humanity for all time. So they stay hidden but show up to various events and conflicts over the centuries which Katharine has marvelously broken down here. This includes showing up in the American Revolution and Bumblebee murdering a shit ton of Nazis during World War IIan event he doesnt remember and the movie doesnt even come close to explainingalthough a Transformer pocket watch apparently killed Hitler. How can they hide if theyre literally involved in every major war Very poorly, one would think, given that they are giant robots being seen by dozens, if not hundreds, of people at a time whenever they show up to help. However, after the King Arthur partnership, the Secret Order of the Witwiccans, was formed to help keep the Transformers hidden. Wait. How does a giant robot disguise himself during American RevolutionWhat the hell is he transforming into Maybe a wagon or something I dont know. Actually, why are they bothering to hide at all Wouldnt all the humanity hates and fears the Transformers, although mostly just the Autobots for no reason whatsoever problems have been solved if these Knight bots just came forward and let humanity get used to giant honkin robots for 1,5. Definitely. Goddamn it. Lets get back to the Witwiccans. Lets. Its a group that includes, of course, Leonardo da Vinci, George Washington, Frederick Douglass, Queen Elizabeth, the Wright brothers, and a bunch of other random historical figures. Wait, FrederiNo. Stop. Do not think about this or you will lose your mind at how awful it is. Ergh. What do the Witwiccans have to do with Sam Witwicky from the first three movies Apparently, he was a descendent of Merlin but hes not said to be a Witwiccan, which is hilarious given his last name.